Hardcore Weekend

Wow a snow day! I almost don't know what to do with myself, if not for the fact that I have too much to do to dwell on that thought for long:) I will miss my workout with my trainer today however due to the fact that the gym is near the job and I'm not going out of the way in this weather to get there.

Therefore I'm making up the session later in the week but still doing something at home, will have to avoid munching too much while hear which is truly easy to do when I'm home. A need to go grocery shopping will help me out with that.

This has been one of the most trying weekends for me, first the news of the death of R Swift's infant son. I don't know him personally, met him once and have other fam in the faith that knows him/work with him. Yet I don't think that's what strikes me so hard. Quite possibly being able to correlate the pain that must come from losing your child, let alone a child less than a year old. But ultimately I believe it's the love that God has placed in me for the body. I'd hope my heart would be just as heavy for someone who isn't a part of the body however there is a bond that is had within this God given family that doesn't compare, even to blood fam at times and to some degree. I've been praying for him and his fam that the Holy Spirit would comfort them as only He can. I remember when my mom died, and I had the opportunity to do this ahead of time, knowing she was dying so.....but I sat and prayed to God that He'd give me His peace. I knew I was going to face all type of support both genuine and not so genuine and that it would only provide a degree of comfort. And don't get me wrong we are to weep with those who weep and mourn with those who morn so not downplaying that fact and am forever grateful for the support received during and for some years past the date of her death. But it was the Holy Spirit's comfort that kept things in perspective.

I testify to date that if my mom died when I was an unbeliever, I'd still probably be going through or angry or whatever the case. But that peace, while I still mourned which again is reasonable, I was able to move forward effectively knowing it's all a part of His plan. And I suspect that it's so much harder for this couple their daughter and other fam as this was not an expected thing. Yet the same God of peace can provide it to His children in that household as well. Praying that in the long run, this will be a testimony that ministers to the hearts of many, especially those hard hearted towards God due to a loss that they felt unfair and therefore judged Him cruel or non-existent. At the end of the day may he be glorified and their joy and peace restored.

This death sparked in me the reality of how we don't control our own lives, rather an in your face reminder of what's often taken for granted. We don't know when it's our time to die and we don't know the day or hour of His return. Which brings me to the next disheartening thing and I won't get into deep detail but bottom line is I cannot participate in ministry that will not bring glory to God. I cannot entertain fleshy folks rather young or old and nothing wrong with entertainment, but at the expense of some one's soul and not at least presenting a clear gospel to them, I cannot therefore I have to face persecution for the stand. But let it begin if it must but may I be looked at as lacking Gods' anointing for not feeding flesh while recognizing His work because it is indeed His anointing doing the work.

Which got me to a place of being before God which as I said to Him that alone is the beauty of pain, it pushes you into the Father's arms. Even if you're quite comfortable there minus painful situations, it does something to go to Him admittedly week and incapable for doing for self what He can do for and through you. I pray that He gets the glory out of the current pains I'm experiencing and may I not miss the blessing of it but endure.