Long time no blog to

Wow I haven't blogged in a crazy long time, all started when I got sick for like two weeks, then busy then sick again. In between all of that got off track a bit but haven't gained too much back. I say it over and over again but this time I'm fo real, not weighting myself for a while. Plan on asking my brother to babysit my scale for a minute so that I don't have to temptation here to jump on it. I just get way too focused on the numbers and tend to do worse in getting comfortable after a lost than a gain so figured if I simply carry around a fear of gaining with me:) I'll simply continue to lose. Something trigger in me that says okay you're doing good splurge now and one of the ways I'm killing that is to get rid of the scale.

I lose best when I'm just living life as normal. Being weight loss should be about lifestyle change and not just a quick fix get it off type thing, that makes sense that I do well when it feels as if it's a part of my every day life so simply going to have to go the route of eating better, working out and watching myself shrink without knowing the exact numbers.

Also working on killing old ways of thinking I know this but get lazy and stop as if that's going to change in a day. I did my first diet when I was about 11 or 12 and it was a literal diet of deprivation to where I'd lose weight then when I couldn't take the restriction fall off then get back on. Then discovering the "trick" of eating whatever you want before dieting then restarting. So those practices are still deeply embedded and is going to take some work to die to them.

Lastly my gym closed on me so haven't been there yet needed to put it on hold for the summer anyway so it worked out. The good thing is I joined via job bennies so I can join another gym. Wasn't able to put a freeze on the membership but can reactivate my now cancelled membership before 3 months are up so will either do that, or go to another gym I really wanted to join who isn't covered via my bennies but you pay by the class anyway. Only downfall is that I payed that hefty initial fee so debating on carrying out the full year.

So that's where I am, there's tons more I'm sure so let me say that's where I'll leave it:)