SCF Update

So since I've been doing The Lord's Table at Setting Captives Free (settingcaptivesfree.com) things have been good. I've been able to identify reason for eating better and doing what they call GBS (growling belly syndrome) to decide when I will and will not eat. That is a ridiculously easy accountability method that I'd never EVER thought about before. I've actually done this before but not consciously. Eating everything in moderation until satisfied, but not necessarily eating only when hungry.

It's a common sense thing but truly not something most of us actually put into practice and it's changing the way I look at how I eat. For instance the recommendation is to eat only when hungry, so when I eat dinner I'm not usually hungry for dessert or any snacks so it's like well what do I do I'm not going to stop snacking. On those occasions I may want to opt to snack over having a full meal. Doesn't mean I'd eat junk food all day and nothing else, but that there is no law that says I have to eat what would be considered a full meal to have had dinner or breakfast or lunch. If I crave an ice cream sundae and that fills me then that's what I eat for that meal and if I get hungry again, then I eat something else. And the key thing is moderation so doesn't mean I would choose to eat a sundae daily but on occasion it's not going to kill me and I'll find myself more satisfied in the long run.

Being I'd want to make the wisest food choices it'll mean snacking will decrease because I'm finding I'm not always hungry for them which is a good thing, learning my body and how much extra I can give it. Probably the key to why I'd struggle to lose weight when I was doing everything right because I probably was overeating and not realizing especially being I'd guesstimate not measure.

So it's really really good and spiritually my eyes are being open to so so much it's amazing, things that can creep into our hearts without truly realizing they're there and the work being done, all I can say is how gracious God is for re-reminding me of this site and now being committed to make the heart change.

One thing that I wasn't expecting is that they do have a weekly weight in, wasn't expecting it because the central theme isn't weight loss, it's a benefit to the program so I'd planned on going with the flow as I'd already planned to give my scale to my bro to hold however this will allow me to get the needed discipline in this area also, not peeking at the scale all of the time but just that one time to update on my course. And if I didn't mention in my last post I have an accountability partner seeing me through.

I can do a run down on so many answered prayers with this thing it's not even funny. And looking forward to finally being free from this roller coaster for good.

Setting Captives Free

The Lord is so gracious, as I've embarked on getting at root issues that cause me to do the things I do, I was reminded of a ministry that I'd signed up for a few years ago but never went through with called Setting Captives Free. SCF is a ministry focused on doing just that with free online programs in the area of weight loss, sexual addiction and other areas (can check out a full list at www.settingcaptivesfree.com) by using the word of God and the reminder that our satisfaction is in Jesus Christ alone and that nothing will ever be a replacement for Him. It's a 60 day course and upon taking the first lesson online I've already had a lie exposed that I didn't realize. I ultimately want to lose weight to glorify God in my body, I'm not like I was when I was younger where I could have easily lost on the motivation to lose alone so I couldn't really see what could possibly hinder me. One thing I realized is that I was placing myself in a better position than some believers I know who went the route of weight loss surgery. While I wanted to applaud them for getting at the weight and I'd even discussed with a coworker when asked if I'd ever do it that I would not because it doesn't get the the root issue that causes one to eat in the first place, I hadn't realized that I partly wanted to lose to show those up that went the quicky route!

Sin is so deceitful and actually before I'd even went on the site, I was speaking with the Lord repenting for this very thing as I ran into said coworker saw how slim she's getting and reminded myself that she did it all wrong "I'm after all doing it the right way to glorify God" such pride! And thankfully that's been revealed repentance has taken place and I can move forward. Will be investing in a book from the dollar store today to do more examination of what could be my motives for losing other than glorifying God. And for those that may not be Christian reading this and may say what's the big deal, there are all sort of benefits to loosing weight however God made mankind to glorify Him, everything that we do for Him has benefit that far outweighs what we'd do to big up ourselves. So while it sounds silly and possibly "selfish of God" in reality everything we do is for His glory and our good. So anything done for God through us, we also benefit from. Example as it relates to this post, if I lose weight to look good I'd never reach a goal that would say I look good enough. If I lose weight because God didn't create me to be so overstuffed that the extra fat shows up in pounds on my body, I can be satisfied in knowing I'm at a healthy weight for my frame even if it's not the type of body I'd desire for myself.

So I'm excited for the journey:) Lastly, wanted to share a quote off of their site:
"One course member wrote, "I have been reminded that I can't just cut back on food but must actively find my satisfaction in Christ. The difference between The Lord's Table and other 'Christian' diet programs I've tried is that even if they say they focus on trusting Christ for strength, they don't teach learning to drink from Christ. They don't get to the root problem, which is finding our satisfaction in something outside of Christ.""

It's difficult to think wow I wasn't satisfied in Christ..well not really I know I can't say I was because my struggles are evidence of that yet I didn't know what area I wasn't satisfied in Him, this is giving me the tools needed to get at those root issues.

Oh also the program offers a mentor if those interested want to request one and suggests having an accountability partner.

Will be blogging throughout this journey and like I said with not trying to focus on weight loss but getting at these root issues, same here weight loss will just be an added bennie and still need to get that scale on over to my bro's house:)

Ahhh Hah!

So as I posted yesterday (feels good on a roll two days of blogging:)) I'm working on killing old habits that creep up and end up sabotaging my weight loss. One such habit popped up today....lemme explain.

I went shopping yesterday with my daughter and we went out to eat, I ate out a ridiculous amount over the past few weeks and decided there and then I was going over to target, getting a few items so that we'd have breakfast and lunch for the next day, she's spending the summer with me at work. Refuse to spend a dime on food from a restaurant again for a minute. So also decided then and there, hey why don't I make this my 1st habit to kick, eating out less and carrying in my breakfast and lunch, and cooking dinner at home. That's the goal no calorie counting or anything just breaking this habit first and then growing from there.


Got into Target and picked up some smart foods popcorn, 100 calorie pack hostesses and stopped myself from getting anything else in the will aide in weight loss department. Today went to Whole Foods to buy food for dinner and immediately I'm over at the fruits, picked up some Agave and was searching out some Cream of Wheat or something to put in the oatmeal I already have. Great choices yes but problem is, I'm going from my "break from diet" stage to "time to diet" stage, all subconsciously let me add.

So I didn't buy any fruit( will do so but at the farmer's market and within reason) decided to do the same captin crunch breakfast tomorrow as I did today and again slapped my hands from going healthy...did buy the agave.

And point being again not that eating healthy is wrong, indeed it's what I need to strive for. But right now I need to break a habit that's been going on for who knows how long so that when I go for these items it's a permanent part of my life but because internally the on a diet alarm is sounding.

So that's my starter point, breaking the dining out habit and preparing my own meals except they won't be weight loss focused but simply eating at home. Not to say I'm going to stuff myself with whatever garbage I want to when I want, am saying I'm not going to put focus on both limiting certain foods and seeking to prepare them at home, focusing on the prep and growing from there.

Long time no blog to

Wow I haven't blogged in a crazy long time, all started when I got sick for like two weeks, then busy then sick again. In between all of that got off track a bit but haven't gained too much back. I say it over and over again but this time I'm fo real, not weighting myself for a while. Plan on asking my brother to babysit my scale for a minute so that I don't have to temptation here to jump on it. I just get way too focused on the numbers and tend to do worse in getting comfortable after a lost than a gain so figured if I simply carry around a fear of gaining with me:) I'll simply continue to lose. Something trigger in me that says okay you're doing good splurge now and one of the ways I'm killing that is to get rid of the scale.

I lose best when I'm just living life as normal. Being weight loss should be about lifestyle change and not just a quick fix get it off type thing, that makes sense that I do well when it feels as if it's a part of my every day life so simply going to have to go the route of eating better, working out and watching myself shrink without knowing the exact numbers.

Also working on killing old ways of thinking I know this but get lazy and stop as if that's going to change in a day. I did my first diet when I was about 11 or 12 and it was a literal diet of deprivation to where I'd lose weight then when I couldn't take the restriction fall off then get back on. Then discovering the "trick" of eating whatever you want before dieting then restarting. So those practices are still deeply embedded and is going to take some work to die to them.

Lastly my gym closed on me so haven't been there yet needed to put it on hold for the summer anyway so it worked out. The good thing is I joined via job bennies so I can join another gym. Wasn't able to put a freeze on the membership but can reactivate my now cancelled membership before 3 months are up so will either do that, or go to another gym I really wanted to join who isn't covered via my bennies but you pay by the class anyway. Only downfall is that I payed that hefty initial fee so debating on carrying out the full year.

So that's where I am, there's tons more I'm sure so let me say that's where I'll leave it:)

Under the Weather

Hello everyone in internetland:) My lack of posting has been due to being under the weather will be back at it next week.

Biggest Loser/Leah Smith

Anyone catch the biggest loser finale last night? It was really long and I'm amazed I actually got through the entire thing. I want to see a full behind the scene view of what they do. I've learned they work out 6 hours a day (wow!) and they'll do some samples of the types of food they eat but doesn't give the full picture, which makes sense but still has me curious. And I'm curious to know at what intensity is each workout. Can't imagine they're all as intense as the clips we're shown and can't imagine having Jillian yelling in my face for that many hours LOL.

But one thing I like about the biggest loser and probably the thing I first took issue with the show is the fact that they produce a love of fitness in the contestants. Most of them at least seem to reach their goal and stick to it afterwards. I didn't like the show at first because it seemed unrealistic for someone to workout that much and so they'd gain all that weight back. Unless they don't allow folks to get on the tube to tell it LOL, doesn't seem to be the case.

I'm more fore working out too now I guess that's part of it. And realize with my love of food and will gain even if looking at i:) I have to be active both to lose and when it comes time to maintain. Tomorrow I'm going t speak with my trainer if she'll have me because she's not training me now:) But going to speak to her about building up to run, what workout advice she'd give me. She's not going to be as easy on my as I'd be on myself so it'll allow me to push myself more. No Jillian thank you Lord but she'll push me and by no Jillian I mean the tactic not training ability. And I take her boot Camp class tomorrow so I'll speak to her about it then.



On another note, I've gotten the video uploaded from last Friday's outing with my sis in law. It's just a sample of the artist that sung that night. Didn't take pics of my food which was really good. And ignore the heads and conversations going on:) Wasn't the best position to record and didn't want to block people behind me by standing.

Leah Smith at Chris Jazz Cafe from Faith215 on Vimeo.

Doing a Marathon....maybe:)

There were some guys at my gym yesterday from ING Direct promoting a marathon they have going on in Philly. I'm thinking about doing it, it's not until September and it is an incentive to do more running during my workouts. Usually (when on treadmill) I do a 3 minute run which is so very rewarding but also wears me out, just those few minutes. I think for me I just don't like the way it feels oppose to it being that difficult. I also found it to be more enjoyable when I did the same on a track oppose to a treadmill. For now treadmill is my best option but when I begin to do my walks Saturday morning, I'll add running as well.

Now I just have to find out more info on this ing run. The guy gave me a card but it doesn't give a website and when I did a search on it, didn't find it. Didn't search really long/hard but nevertheless didn't find it. I'm thinking part of it is (actually I'm certain this is the case:)) to get people to sign up for ING so when they call I'll get the info then.

Even if I don't do this one, It's something I'm striving to do and spoke with my trainer about keeping me abreast of what's going on out there.