Thursday, July 16, 2009

SCF Update

So since I've been doing The Lord's Table at Setting Captives Free (settingcaptivesfree.com) things have been good. I've been able to identify reason for eating better and doing what they call GBS (growling belly syndrome) to decide when I will and will not eat. That is a ridiculously easy accountability method that I'd never EVER thought about before. I've actually done this before but not consciously. Eating everything in moderation until satisfied, but not necessarily eating only when hungry.

It's a common sense thing but truly not something most of us actually put into practice and it's changing the way I look at how I eat. For instance the recommendation is to eat only when hungry, so when I eat dinner I'm not usually hungry for dessert or any snacks so it's like well what do I do I'm not going to stop snacking. On those occasions I may want to opt to snack over having a full meal. Doesn't mean I'd eat junk food all day and nothing else, but that there is no law that says I have to eat what would be considered a full meal to have had dinner or breakfast or lunch. If I crave an ice cream sundae and that fills me then that's what I eat for that meal and if I get hungry again, then I eat something else. And the key thing is moderation so doesn't mean I would choose to eat a sundae daily but on occasion it's not going to kill me and I'll find myself more satisfied in the long run.

Being I'd want to make the wisest food choices it'll mean snacking will decrease because I'm finding I'm not always hungry for them which is a good thing, learning my body and how much extra I can give it. Probably the key to why I'd struggle to lose weight when I was doing everything right because I probably was overeating and not realizing especially being I'd guesstimate not measure.

So it's really really good and spiritually my eyes are being open to so so much it's amazing, things that can creep into our hearts without truly realizing they're there and the work being done, all I can say is how gracious God is for re-reminding me of this site and now being committed to make the heart change.

One thing that I wasn't expecting is that they do have a weekly weight in, wasn't expecting it because the central theme isn't weight loss, it's a benefit to the program so I'd planned on going with the flow as I'd already planned to give my scale to my bro to hold however this will allow me to get the needed discipline in this area also, not peeking at the scale all of the time but just that one time to update on my course. And if I didn't mention in my last post I have an accountability partner seeing me through.

I can do a run down on so many answered prayers with this thing it's not even funny. And looking forward to finally being free from this roller coaster for good.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Setting Captives Free

The Lord is so gracious, as I've embarked on getting at root issues that cause me to do the things I do, I was reminded of a ministry that I'd signed up for a few years ago but never went through with called Setting Captives Free. SCF is a ministry focused on doing just that with free online programs in the area of weight loss, sexual addiction and other areas (can check out a full list at www.settingcaptivesfree.com) by using the word of God and the reminder that our satisfaction is in Jesus Christ alone and that nothing will ever be a replacement for Him. It's a 60 day course and upon taking the first lesson online I've already had a lie exposed that I didn't realize. I ultimately want to lose weight to glorify God in my body, I'm not like I was when I was younger where I could have easily lost on the motivation to lose alone so I couldn't really see what could possibly hinder me. One thing I realized is that I was placing myself in a better position than some believers I know who went the route of weight loss surgery. While I wanted to applaud them for getting at the weight and I'd even discussed with a coworker when asked if I'd ever do it that I would not because it doesn't get the the root issue that causes one to eat in the first place, I hadn't realized that I partly wanted to lose to show those up that went the quicky route!

Sin is so deceitful and actually before I'd even went on the site, I was speaking with the Lord repenting for this very thing as I ran into said coworker saw how slim she's getting and reminded myself that she did it all wrong "I'm after all doing it the right way to glorify God" such pride! And thankfully that's been revealed repentance has taken place and I can move forward. Will be investing in a book from the dollar store today to do more examination of what could be my motives for losing other than glorifying God. And for those that may not be Christian reading this and may say what's the big deal, there are all sort of benefits to loosing weight however God made mankind to glorify Him, everything that we do for Him has benefit that far outweighs what we'd do to big up ourselves. So while it sounds silly and possibly "selfish of God" in reality everything we do is for His glory and our good. So anything done for God through us, we also benefit from. Example as it relates to this post, if I lose weight to look good I'd never reach a goal that would say I look good enough. If I lose weight because God didn't create me to be so overstuffed that the extra fat shows up in pounds on my body, I can be satisfied in knowing I'm at a healthy weight for my frame even if it's not the type of body I'd desire for myself.

So I'm excited for the journey:) Lastly, wanted to share a quote off of their site:
"One course member wrote, "I have been reminded that I can't just cut back on food but must actively find my satisfaction in Christ. The difference between The Lord's Table and other 'Christian' diet programs I've tried is that even if they say they focus on trusting Christ for strength, they don't teach learning to drink from Christ. They don't get to the root problem, which is finding our satisfaction in something outside of Christ.""

It's difficult to think wow I wasn't satisfied in Christ..well not really I know I can't say I was because my struggles are evidence of that yet I didn't know what area I wasn't satisfied in Him, this is giving me the tools needed to get at those root issues.

Oh also the program offers a mentor if those interested want to request one and suggests having an accountability partner.

Will be blogging throughout this journey and like I said with not trying to focus on weight loss but getting at these root issues, same here weight loss will just be an added bennie and still need to get that scale on over to my bro's house:)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Ahhh Hah!





So as I posted yesterday (feels good on a roll two days of blogging:)) I'm working on killing old habits that creep up and end up sabotaging my weight loss. One such habit popped up today....lemme explain.

I went shopping yesterday with my daughter and we went out to eat, I ate out a ridiculous amount over the past few weeks and decided there and then I was going over to target, getting a few items so that we'd have breakfast and lunch for the next day, she's spending the summer with me at work. Refuse to spend a dime on food from a restaurant again for a minute. So also decided then and there, hey why don't I make this my 1st habit to kick, eating out less and carrying in my breakfast and lunch, and cooking dinner at home. That's the goal no calorie counting or anything just breaking this habit first and then growing from there.


Got into Target and picked up some smart foods popcorn, 100 calorie pack hostesses and stopped myself from getting anything else in the will aide in weight loss department. Today went to Whole Foods to buy food for dinner and immediately I'm over at the fruits, picked up some Agave and was searching out some Cream of Wheat or something to put in the oatmeal I already have. Great choices yes but problem is, I'm going from my "break from diet" stage to "time to diet" stage, all subconsciously let me add.

So I didn't buy any fruit( will do so but at the farmer's market and within reason) decided to do the same captin crunch breakfast tomorrow as I did today and again slapped my hands from going healthy...did buy the agave.

And point being again not that eating healthy is wrong, indeed it's what I need to strive for. But right now I need to break a habit that's been going on for who knows how long so that when I go for these items it's a permanent part of my life but because internally the on a diet alarm is sounding.

So that's my starter point, breaking the dining out habit and preparing my own meals except they won't be weight loss focused but simply eating at home. Not to say I'm going to stuff myself with whatever garbage I want to when I want, am saying I'm not going to put focus on both limiting certain foods and seeking to prepare them at home, focusing on the prep and growing from there.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Long time no blog to

Wow I haven't blogged in a crazy long time, all started when I got sick for like two weeks, then busy then sick again. In between all of that got off track a bit but haven't gained too much back. I say it over and over again but this time I'm fo real, not weighting myself for a while. Plan on asking my brother to babysit my scale for a minute so that I don't have to temptation here to jump on it. I just get way too focused on the numbers and tend to do worse in getting comfortable after a lost than a gain so figured if I simply carry around a fear of gaining with me:) I'll simply continue to lose. Something trigger in me that says okay you're doing good splurge now and one of the ways I'm killing that is to get rid of the scale.

I lose best when I'm just living life as normal. Being weight loss should be about lifestyle change and not just a quick fix get it off type thing, that makes sense that I do well when it feels as if it's a part of my every day life so simply going to have to go the route of eating better, working out and watching myself shrink without knowing the exact numbers.

Also working on killing old ways of thinking I know this but get lazy and stop as if that's going to change in a day. I did my first diet when I was about 11 or 12 and it was a literal diet of deprivation to where I'd lose weight then when I couldn't take the restriction fall off then get back on. Then discovering the "trick" of eating whatever you want before dieting then restarting. So those practices are still deeply embedded and is going to take some work to die to them.

Lastly my gym closed on me so haven't been there yet needed to put it on hold for the summer anyway so it worked out. The good thing is I joined via job bennies so I can join another gym. Wasn't able to put a freeze on the membership but can reactivate my now cancelled membership before 3 months are up so will either do that, or go to another gym I really wanted to join who isn't covered via my bennies but you pay by the class anyway. Only downfall is that I payed that hefty initial fee so debating on carrying out the full year.

So that's where I am, there's tons more I'm sure so let me say that's where I'll leave it:)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Under the Weather



Hello everyone in internetland:) My lack of posting has been due to being under the weather will be back at it next week.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Biggest Loser/Leah Smith

Anyone catch the biggest loser finale last night? It was really long and I'm amazed I actually got through the entire thing. I want to see a full behind the scene view of what they do. I've learned they work out 6 hours a day (wow!) and they'll do some samples of the types of food they eat but doesn't give the full picture, which makes sense but still has me curious. And I'm curious to know at what intensity is each workout. Can't imagine they're all as intense as the clips we're shown and can't imagine having Jillian yelling in my face for that many hours LOL.

But one thing I like about the biggest loser and probably the thing I first took issue with the show is the fact that they produce a love of fitness in the contestants. Most of them at least seem to reach their goal and stick to it afterwards. I didn't like the show at first because it seemed unrealistic for someone to workout that much and so they'd gain all that weight back. Unless they don't allow folks to get on the tube to tell it LOL, doesn't seem to be the case.

I'm more fore working out too now I guess that's part of it. And realize with my love of food and will gain even if looking at i:) I have to be active both to lose and when it comes time to maintain. Tomorrow I'm going t speak with my trainer if she'll have me because she's not training me now:) But going to speak to her about building up to run, what workout advice she'd give me. She's not going to be as easy on my as I'd be on myself so it'll allow me to push myself more. No Jillian thank you Lord but she'll push me and by no Jillian I mean the tactic not training ability. And I take her boot Camp class tomorrow so I'll speak to her about it then.



On another note, I've gotten the video uploaded from last Friday's outing with my sis in law. It's just a sample of the artist that sung that night. Didn't take pics of my food which was really good. And ignore the heads and conversations going on:) Wasn't the best position to record and didn't want to block people behind me by standing.




Leah Smith at Chris Jazz Cafe from Faith215 on Vimeo.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Doing a Marathon....maybe:)



There were some guys at my gym yesterday from ING Direct promoting a marathon they have going on in Philly. I'm thinking about doing it, it's not until September and it is an incentive to do more running during my workouts. Usually (when on treadmill) I do a 3 minute run which is so very rewarding but also wears me out, just those few minutes. I think for me I just don't like the way it feels oppose to it being that difficult. I also found it to be more enjoyable when I did the same on a track oppose to a treadmill. For now treadmill is my best option but when I begin to do my walks Saturday morning, I'll add running as well.

Now I just have to find out more info on this ing run. The guy gave me a card but it doesn't give a website and when I did a search on it, didn't find it. Didn't search really long/hard but nevertheless didn't find it. I'm thinking part of it is (actually I'm certain this is the case:)) to get people to sign up for ING so when they call I'll get the info then.

Even if I don't do this one, It's something I'm striving to do and spoke with my trainer about keeping me abreast of what's going on out there.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Weekend/Mother's Day

I didn't quite make my goal I'd set out for myself but I did lose 3.3 pounds which isn't too shabby:) And evidently my gain was a true one unless my weekend halted my lost. I didn't do terribly bad but it's always more difficult guesstimating calories than when I'm cooking for self or able to obtain NI for what I'm eating.

My plan this week is to stick with much of what I did last week, not hitting the gym twice daily (and only was able to do so a few times last week but did get in my days) but will keep busy to burn all of my calories needed for the day. I'm grateful to say I don't have any other food related plans for the rest of this month so not to say I won't go out to eat, but I won't make any plans to do so and will take advantage of the rest of this month in terms of really buckling down as I can think of at least 3 things for the month of June to plan through.

For Mother's Day I didn't do much. I was dealing with a stomach ache yesterday so didn't even make it out of the house and unfortunately meant not much movement at all really. I got through some cleaning so that helped but my usual routine would be go to church and do some sort of activity after church that would keep me busy at least to burn off some calories. I'm sure my body needed the rest but definitely missed getting that movement in.

My daughter gave me the most thoughtful gift, I've been buying her an outfit per pay so that I'm not loaded down with buying tons of new clothes at once and it's fun for her to get to look forward to that. She said mom this time buy a gift for yourself. Thoughtful considering her age 12 and very much early in the teen stage of things:) And she also sent me an ecard from dayspring.com one of my favorite videos of a little girl quoting Psalm 23. And it ends with a note of how mom's faith has an impact on their children, beautiful!!

I'll include it here:




Now I'm remembering to take my camera with me now I have to remember to snap pics LOL and upload them. I do have a few from this weekend that I will post, if not tonight tomorrow.

Friday, May 8, 2009

And so the planning begins

(image from a recipe by Hungry Girl www.hungry-girl.com

I failed to mention in my post explaining the food challenges I'll face this weekend that there is still Mother's Day to be had. I may get asked to go out by one of the ladies at my church who so kindly remembers me on this day being my mother past 3 years ago.

Last year after trying who knows how many restaurants we ended up at Friendly's this year if the offer is extended I'll decline and spend the day cooking/eating with my daughter. And perhaps offer her and her daughter to come with. Thinking about imitating the shrimp and grits dish I like so much from what's becoming one of my favorite spots to eat Relish. I'll do a lower fat version and assuming it'll be lower fat as I'm not sure what's in the dish. Then do the same by way of a dessert. My daughter wants to be a chef and at one point we were cooking together once a month a menu so that she could learn how to make different things and encourage her desire. That faded some time ago but will use this as an opportunity to re-instate that as well as spending that time cooking together.

Tonight is the night I go to the Leah Smith concert also mentioned in a previous post. I checked out the menu at the restaurant/jazz cafe it's being held and going to go with salmon which comes with a potato croquette my guess is as calorie friendly as I could make this at home, it won't be here and I think I'll enjoy it rather than asking for tons of alterations. But controlling my breakfast and lunch, looking at a salad for lunch had a smaller portion of my oatmeal for breakfast with banana and a non fat hot chocolate from Starbucks.

And the concert is early, 5:00 so if I get hungry because I'm doing a salad, I can snack on a piece of fruit and be good for dinner and anything after that, will stick with fruit for it too.

Tomorrow is the bigger test, going to a festival centered around food and I'm so determined to walk away having not over-indulged

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Are you a fool?

And now for that non-weight loss post:) I just came across this quiz and thought I'd share with fellow believers:



If you take this be 100% honest with yourself about the answer that applies to you. Only you and the Lord can see it and He already knows who you are:)

I've seen on some web platforms where people will take quizzes that do not truly reflect who they are. For example someone shy and timid getting an you're as bold as a lion final answer. Nothing wrong with saying I'm shy/timid in an area and in order to grow rather than make self feel good with an answer that feels good in that moment.

I found this to be really helpful I'm reading a book by Nancy Lee DeMoss titled "The Power of Words" and some of the Proverbs in the quiz confirmed some things this book spoke on as well so while it's not fun to have a fault poked at, better to know they can be overcome than to stay in them.

Yummy Salmon Cakes



I brought some salmon a week ago and put it in the freezer, not sure of what I wanted to do with it. Wanted to do something different than my norm of putting some garlic on it and a we bit of EVOO and baking it. So was pleased when I came across this recipe for salmon cakes. Made on Tuesday and they are so so good. Actually this has been the dinner meal for the week coupled with some sauteed spinach and corn Tuesday, and Near East Rice on Wed. Forget what I had on Monday now:)

The first batch I made was a we bit interesting because my blender/food processor broke, well the blade did so I cut the salmon into fine pieces but it still ended up pretty chunky but still good. Yesterday I went out and invested in a small chopper and I love this thing, may work a little too well as I used it to chop my peppers and it turned it into mush. Needed to do less pulsing than I did however it did put me in the mind of making Roasted Pepper pesto and Sundried Tomato pesto rather than buying it! So I'm looking forward to that.

Anyway so last night's salmon caked turned out really well being the proper consistency and all. They still broke apart a little because the binding agent in these is mustard rather than mayo and egg which is good and can deal with a little crumble to save on the calories and fat......just dawned on me mines were probably a wee bit too mushy from the peppers oppose to breaking apart due to not enough of a binding agent.

In other news, I've begun carrying my camera around so that I can begin documenting my food (and other) pics. Now I just have to remember to pull it out when I'm eating:)

For the recipe to the salmon cakes visit you will need to click within the post there to get to the recipe. However there are other really good recipes on this site so figured I'd direct everyone to the source first.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Crazy day yesterday

Yesterday was a horrible horrible day. Oh my goodness I'm not sure what it was exactly but I was really emotional. There are several things pressing upon me that I've been praying about and being a big girl in waiting for my Lord to come through. Not in asking for things from Him but difficult situations I'm facing and some of them the type that show you how you're completely dependant upon Him and cannot do it without Him yet He seems so afar off concerning said situation.

So I guess with each situation, they all just came to the surface at one time. One thing I have learned however is if I feel the need to cry and not sure just do it, don't feel like there has to be a reason in order to allow them to flow. I know there is a reason I feel that need to cry but speaking on if there isn't a specific understanding as to why I feel weepy just let them flow oppose to thinking up some reason to make it okay to do so and I therefore did just that. Also reminding myself that joy will come in the morning no matter how hard the situation may appear at the time.

Still not sure of the exact reason I was so upset I'm going to journal my feelings and get to the bottom of them individually again with pray as well as studying biblically for example one situation I was pretty angry about something that I hadn't realized how much so apart from it resurfacing, so getting at how to get past that over venting them out or suppressing it.

And one thing that I noticed in all of my emotionalism:) Is that I didn't overeat not once. I've questioned in the past if I'm a true emotional eater I know for sure I'll eat when I'm happy ie celebrational (yes I'm making up a word here:))situations. But I think when I'm sad I revert to a child like I'm going to hurt God's feelings if I put in His temple things that I know I shouldn't be putting in me because He's not attending to something I feel He should. After all He can heal me of all hurt and brings to mind overall those tears were generated due to some testing and trials He's allowing me to go through right now, there being several not sure what triggered me emotionally but all things considered typically I'll go into woe is me mode over utilizing that food to comfort me and knowing the damage to follow. It's so foolish but admittedly I've done just that in the past.

So I'm grateful that I didn't do that this time, woman'd up:) Let the tears flow and spoke to my Father about it afterwards.

I did however find myself hungrier yesterday and fighting a migraine so I ate more than I'd planned out but due to hunger over overindulging and still stayed in calorie range due to the fact that I worked out. Not trying to eat what I worked off so trying not to do that but have to make sure I'm getting what my body needs as well and yesterday it needed more than what I'd provided for it. Also thinking I probably provide myself more calories during lunch than I allotted yesterday and therefore hunger kicked in quicker and longer.

But moral of the story, I didn't overindulge gave my body what it needed and kept it moving.

And joy came in the morning concerning those tears:)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My plan this week

I should probably take a second to mention this isn't a weight loss blog before posting further:) I'm talking about it a ton these past couple of weeks and considered making this my weight loss blog then doing an additional one but just don't see the time to keep up with two so will continue to do as I was however my weight loss posts are/will be heavier than they'd been because it's great accountability.

At any rate, my goal this week is to get to about 232.5-233.5. I mentioned yesterday how the scale is reading 238.5 but don't believe it to be a true gain so with the loss of what would be a 4 pound gain, hoping to lose one to two pounds. Wanted to really go for it and say get to 230, there are those rare weeks when I see an 8-10 pound lost, but in the nature of staying realistic and not shooting for quick loss I'm taking what I can get and 5 isn't unreasonable for me to lose after a gain.

What I'm doing to get there is:
Drinking tons of water- again I think my gain is largely water weight so making sure I'm getting in my water plus a wee bit more than usual.

Eating Whole foods- The type not necessarily the store:) Oatmeal, brown rice, beans, fruits veggies etc. Also Fish & Chicken, cutting out the red meat this week.

Hitting the gym twice daily- I don't burn enough calories in a day to lose over a pound a week, my goal is to lose two which is considered a healthy amount to lose weekly. So my plan beyond this week is to do some walking apart from my hour workout or my 30 day shred dvd by Jillian Micheal's. Because it's better weather (excluding the rainy days right now:)) I'll be doing more walking but with a rain week all week, decided to utilize 1/2 hour of my lunch to get in a short but effective workout. Then doing my hour after work.

Eating 3 meals 2 snacks daily- I'm one of those people that will gain because of not eating enough food. Then when I get something it not being the best choice so I'm being sure to have my breakfast lunch and dinner, sensible let me add along with two snacks, gain sensible so that I'm getting in enough calories as well as not being tempted to eat something that could cause a gain.

Planning out my meals- Not doing this to a science, perhaps I should but I have an idea of what I'm going to eat each day so that I'm not trying to figure out what I want or debating if I can eat it based on calorie content. I will be jotting down what I'll eat on Fri & Sat being I'll be out and about and around temptations.

Paying attention to my thoughts, feelings & getting at bad habits
- My biggest weight loss secret is that I'm killing bad habits and getting at time wasting/unproductive thoughts. For instance seeing the scale go up after getting down so well, well past those 240's normally would have caused me to throw my hands up and say ah well I'm just meant to be this size not everyone is meant to be thin or I'm never going to get past this or I'm never going to beat these bad habits so might as well live comfortably and enjoy my food. This time around I've got my gloves on LOL and getting at them no matter how many times I have to do so.

Most importantly, praying
- God knows me better than anyone, better than I know myself. He knows my needs why I do what I do and I just flat out need Him in all areas of my life or no matter how hard I try, I will be defeated. Doesn't mean He won't have me to fight it out and grow from it, does mean He'll guide me and order my steps if I simply go to Him and ask.

So that's what's going on in a nutshell. I'm making Monday my official weight in day and will update my weight then.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Godly encouraged/This upcoming weekend

In an effort to try to keep blog posts to a minimum I'm doing two of them today:)

Another goal of mines (read my weight loss goal:)) is truly planning out my days, especially when I know I'm going to be out and unable to get back home to eat or simply planned restaurant trips. This weekend will look much like last in terms of being away from home and around food. A concert on Friday night featuring artist Leah Smith. Not sure if she's a gospel artist or not LOL but from what I've heard of her music definitely a Christ representative. And this venue serves food and since I'm going right after work, I'll most likely eat there. Will have to check their website to see if I can find a menu.

Then on Saturday, an event I look forward to yearly which lasts most of the day. Rittenhouse Spring Fling (in Philly) music and opportunity to eat some samples from some of the best restaurants in the area including one who's bill could come to over $100....just for you let alone others in the party!! Needless to say this is the only opportunity I get to sample their food:) And we get to sample these things for a few bucks. I'm being real with myself at first I was going to go with just going to enjoy the time out and music and walking people watching etc, but knowing myself better than that, that's not going to fly and so planning to do a fruit breakfast a walk in the morning and perhaps a stop at my gym on the way home which is off of the street the festival is being held. I don't typically eat a ton of food at this festival but I'll give myself freedom to make some choices if I want something that could possibly be calorie heavy and I won't have a way of knowing. The samples are small ones as well so another good thing about this particular festival but going with giving myself plenty of room to use and then working on not taking myself up on it rather than as I said not getting anything and not sure if salad is an option.

I was so incredibly encouraged a few hours ago, one thing that I see about myself this time around compared to times past as it relates to weight loss is I'm determined to do this no matter how many times I fall off and I pray that God will continue to build that drive in me. Old habits are like rising up and taking their time dying off so I have to fight and stay focused on what is causing me to do what I do. For instance I'm use to taking breaks when I go out to eat, even if I order the healthier option I don't go through asking the waiter to have it steamed or baked. And so I can without even thinking about it go to a restaurant and want the opposite of what I'd prepare if I were at home. Or there are bad foods that are tucked in my brain that I could allow myself within reason/moderation. So just truly getting at these things and not allowing myself to stay discouraged if I get there and keeping it moving.

As a part of my plan, I'm thinking I'll save the full out plan for a post tomorrow, again in the name of shorter posts:) But one plan is I'm going to the gym for a half an hour during lunch, then an hour afterwards. This will help me to get the calories burned that I'd been missing according to my gofitwear band. So I went over to the gym thinking I had my shirt and bottom but I had two bottoms. Decided I'd have to work out in my shirt because I only had 1/2 hour to work with and not enough time to change if I were to buy a shirt from the gym. And half hour because it's not right around the corner from my job I have to walk a little ways so only doing 1 day at lunch which gets me back to the office a litte later than it should and praise God for a job that allots that. At any rate I did workout, walk on the treadmill with a 3 minute sprint which felt truly good!! But I primarily was encouraged because I even got there for that 1/2 and looking forward to getting back in a few. Also went back to my oats and salad:) By now I would have considered rather or not I just need to be a rep for the 18 wearing females that gets hated on:) Not the case when considering my body isn't made to carry extra weight, excess due to my taking in excess. If due to some metabolism issue or thyroid problem then I'd gladly represent but due to gluttony or laziness never. And that doesn't mean I'll get to this goal weight that I have to stay to but within reason not giving myself excuses for being at an unhealthy weight.

New goal/Weight Gain

I've decided to work on a short term goal before doing the other short term goal:) Originally I'd said I wanted to get out of the 200's. However let me just get back to the 220's first then go from there.

I kept trying to post this on Friday but either would close me out or I'd get too busy to do so but knowing I'd do this today, weighted myself this morning and weighted in at 238.5. I do not believe this to be a true gain however (would be a gain of 4 points) so not sweating it too much. Maybe two of those pounds are true ones but I believe it's the sodium intake coupled with a not so great weekend. Just horrid planning first off, I forgot after I said I was going to take it easy in the sodium dept that I said that. Decided to try out the new KFC baked chicken which it evidently isn't meant for me to try LOL. Because the location I'd gone to did not have it yet they gave out coupons to try it at a discounted price over the weekend go figure. So once I found out they didn't have it I went to Golden Crust (a chain Jamaican restaurant) instead and got some stew chicken. Wanted curry but got stew because curry would have been 20 minutes.

Then decided I didn't really want chicken at all so ate the cabbage, plantains and some of the rice and beans with some left over for the next day. Should have been cool calorie wise because it was that weird I'm not that hungry day. However I imagine my sodium intake to have been out the roof.

Then on Sat, knew I'd be going out later to a restaurant in Philly named Relish. Trombone player Jeff Bradshaw was the act for that night so wanted to go hear him play. But before that had women's fellowship to go to which involves food and a kid bday party at Dave & Busters which I figured I'd eat before going and then later at Relish get salmon and steamed veggies.

Well that didn't happen LOL. Women's fellowship was cool, ate 1/2 bagel & some fruit, oranges, bananas, & grapes. Got home from Women's fellowship and ate the rest of my food from golden crust still minus the chicken. I was cool after finishing but realized it wasn't enough to call a full meal. So by the time I got to the bday party (took almost 2 hours by bus, could have gone to NY in that time:)) I was hungry. And my time was off as to when it would be over so ate there instead in case we didn't make the restaurant later and what I got was not the worse but not the best, grilled chicken with bacon and cheddar on a wheat bun with special sauce that tasted a lot like mayo to me LOL. Thought we weren't going to make it to the restaurant but we did and I was again hungry by this point, guess my not so hungry day effected my Saturday which is now my hungry day:) So I ordered an appetizer of gullah shrimp and grits. My guess is the strimps and sauce was cool of course depends on how they prepare it but the grits are so cheesy and tastes like it's prepared with milk so needless to say not the best day.

Sunday was better choice wise but for the sake of post lenght I'll spare the breakdown.


I'm thinking I'll see myself back down to 234.5 in a few days but not going to track until next Monday:) My goal is to get back to that and lose an additional pound or two so a 5-6 pound lost which isn't too hard and knowing my body, especially if this is a water weight thing and not calories (was very active also over weekend let me add) I'm sure I'll do it.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Some before and afters

I'm sitting here looking at some old pics of me on facebook and wow if it isn't motivated to keep working this weight off!!

I like the idea that http://morapiggy.blogspot.com/ has in posting some progress pics in her sidebar at different levels of her weight. I'm going to do the same as a reminder to take some progress pics for one thing:) And as a means of showing myself and other how I'm progressing. It's not always easy to look at self in the mirror and see the difference.

at 253


This is the heaviest weight I've ever been. And I think I stayed that size for so long out of sheer depression, and also got that way due to being depressed. Before this, when I had my daughter I was 205, specifically remember this because I'd just done La Weight Loss and found out I was pregnant. Remember thinking how close I was to the 190's and hoped I'd be able to get back on track after I'd had my daughter. Well I gained very little only 30 pounds and it went once my daughter arrived I was back to 205. But climbed from that point up to 253 and stayed there until she was around 7 or 8 years old. Praise God haven't gotten back to this weight since losing.






at 244 (approx)
**At this point I'd lost weight and got down to 229 see pic after this, hence why I'm saying what I am here:)**

When I got up to about 244, I say approx because I wasn't weighting myself at the time and it's funny because I called myself judging by how my clothes fit but as I gained weight back, I didn't notice the difference in the clothes I was wearing! I recall I was coming out of an 18 but couldn't quite get into a 16. But only up to the point where I truly noticed my belt needing to be loosened a few notches did I start losing again and by then I'd gained about 15 pounds back. Needless to say this is the last set back if I can help it and thinking health issues or something not gluttony holding me back!!


at 229


This is when I'd gotten to 229 pounds, a pic from my daughter's grade school graduation. Now I'm not back down to this weight yet, close but when I am I'm going to take another pic, curious to see if I look different being this time I'm working out and eating right. During this time I did some walking, but that was about all on purpose. Oh no I did begin weight training around then but hadn't done so long enough or intensely enough to be a huge difference.


So that's it, I'm going to put either these or some other pics on my sidebar soon and keep updating as I lose.

A really good Chip

I'm having a weird day. I wasn't very hungry this morning so didn't have my usual oatmeal yet decided to sip on some coffee to get in some calories. And just finished a sack pictured to the left.

Let me tell you if you haven't tried Herr's Baked Potato Crisps yet and like Lays or a fan of chips in general. Do yourself a favor and get these! I tried the cheddar and sour cream version last week and at first wasn't that impressed but as it grew on me I noticed how flavorful they were. This time with the BBQ, I couldn't tell that I was eating the baked over the regular. Now I'm sure someone that eats chips all of the time, especially those who don't do baked at all would disagree. And let me add more so the flavor of the BBQ than the chip itself tastes identical. But because of that flavor, don't feel like I've missed out on the real thing.

Love lays version too, yet theirs hardly tastes like the fried version of their chips. So these are a keeper for me. On occasion because of the sodium I have to watch out for. For lunch I'm having a roasted veggie Amy's pizza again so I'll have to be careful of what I eat for dinner in the sodium department. Thinking veggies and this rice I brought. Really good like a natural rice a roni. Don't have the pic available or name of product with me so will have to post more about that at a later date.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Go Fight Win:)

Beginning on Monday I'm starting a mini-goal to get out of the 200's. Still have to do the calculations to see how long it'll take and I usually don't like to do that because if I don't hit a goal weight during any given week, it can become discouraging. However and again going back to the mind renewal issue, if I don't get at those things that can make me uncomfortable and fight through them, I'll simply find myself loosing at a snails pace continually or maintaining.

This week my eating has been okay but not as effortless as the past three weeks were. Not that I didn't have my challenging days but noticed since I'm not doing a cleanse or consecration anymore, I'm getting all of these cravings that are easier to say yes to because they I can say for instance if I wanted a hot dog I can add it into my day and watch what else I eat for the remainder of the day. However I may find later that I want cheese in my salad or that I'm not full enough and need to eat a larger portion of whatever it may be, making it easier to go over my daily calorie intake.

Basically I'm really casual which is how I like it and feel it'll be for the good long term with making this a lifestyle change, not just about losing weight. However reality is I want this weight gone also, and while I don't have expectations to lose 20 pounds in one week LOL. I'd like to be more consistent with getting off at least 2 weekly. Without allowing myself the well if I at least maintain I'm cool excuse.

Therefore my plan of action will be first to figure out how many months it should take if I were to lose 2 pounds weekly. And the goal will be to do some increased workout activity as my gowearfit band let me know I was coming in a deficit on most days. And possibly some calorie cut backs but judging by the time of year will most likely go with more increased activity.

Will update here of course my progress:)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Heavy food, ready for the grains again:)

Was on a consecration last week which ended 12 noon on Saturday. Won't say I've been eating ever since, but I did take a wee bit of a break from my grains this weekend and praise God am ready to get back to them today. I went to this Italian restaurant yesterday and got Eggplant Rollatini which is eggplant rolled around spinach & ricotta cheese. Topped with mozzarella and tomato sauce. On the side was pasta which had a bichemelle sauce on it. All tasted so heavy and greasy. Good but heavy. Also a Caesar came with my meal which had loads of dressing and huge chunks of parm cheese and I had an appetizer, warm crab cheesecake. Actually didn't get through much of my main dish because was stuffed after the appetizer. But needless to say after all of that heavy food I'm so ready to get back to my oatmeal and salads.

I may actually try the KFC grilled chicken today, and eat a side salad with it for lunch I shall see.

Got down to 234.5 ( I think, can see on sidebar exact weight) I was so shocked and thrilled. Now 10 pounds away from that plateau weight I feel better about not getting back there and motivated to get further away from it. Also stepping it up in the work out department this week. I missed a few days last week for different reasons. But when I did go in, I did the treadmill, actually 15 minutes on bike, 20 on treadmill and remaining time on weight lifting. I started doing 5 minute runs on the treadmill again. It feels so good to do it! Yet it's hard for me at the same time those five minutes can't be over soon enough for me LOL. I'm looking forward to building up the momentum and perhaps being one of those people running down the street when the weather gets like it is right now.

I was actually thinking about that yesterday, I decided I didn't want to sit in the house after I got out of church and went out to dinner to have what I've explained above. I want to begin changing my focus to what I enjoy doing. I'll always love food and I love going to restaurants not just for food but love to people watch etc. But if I take up running or walking or thought about checking out plays, just something non food related so that there isn't always this temptation to get it in. Well yesterday was planned after just about 3 weeks of fasting or cleansing. Yet need to get out of the habit of feeling that need to reward after accomplishing something with food. Especially since my focus is lifestyle change over I'll eat healthy until I lose weight and right back to old habits.

And with summer approaching this is the perfect time to make such a change.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Love Amy's Food!!

This is soooo goood!!! It's cool because I've wanted to try to make a pizza like this with caramelized onions. I'd planned on using tomato sauce but wanted to try the onions to see if I could create a pizza without cheese that I would like and well if I'm not successful with doing it myself, Amy's surely did a good job and I can just get it.

Not sure if I posted this before or not (so forgetful!) But I'm trying to figure out a way to grow my locs while working out. I'm locing with extensions so it's not too bad but it gets really bushy about a week or two after I re-twist. I've had locs before about 5 years ago maybe and I did it without extensions and it took a full year to loc completely so I'm not hopeful that this will be able to survive the perspiration. I plan on going to a salon once and see how long it lasts after getting it done. Sometimes others can do your hair better than you can, hoping a loctician will get it tighter than I am. Then my gym is generous in supplying a hair dryer that I can use after I workout. May also have to do dry shampoos as if I were locing on my own (without extensions) and having to wait before getting wet. I shall see but cutting them isn't an option.....nor is putting off working out.



With that said, realizing I haven't gotten in enough water today and my body is saying yeah pretty much so let me go take care of that:)
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