Weight Loss- A gain this week.

Did my weight in yesterday and I gained the 2.5 back that I lost the previous week. It was a little disheartening but I dust myself off quickly and jumped back into the game. The issue wasn't so much me dipping into food just to do so, I keep getting these migraines that I typically get if I skip breakfast or don't eat enough and advil aleive etc does nothing for it. So when I felt one coming on I decided to nix the fruits and veggies and go for somethings heartier. That didn't really help and my next step is to just go to the doctors to see if there is something more that's causing this.

The trainer at my gym said it could be brought on due to dehydration, and that my body is still adjusting to things. I hope that's the case but still going to my doctor to get things checked out.

Speaking of the trainer I just may do the sessions with her sooner rather than later. Oh also the gain was due to missing some workout days the prior week. I forget why I think because I had meetings for a few days that week and one day I had a migraine so didn't go. Anyway when I worked out on Tuesday she came and asked me questions, let me know if I needed any help to pull her over etc. On my way out she mentioned when it gets warmer she may start some lunch time workouts, her class is today actually so she's thinking doing it outside rather than inside and doing things like running the art museum steps (like rocky LOL) and other activities we could do. Just really passionate about, actually I get the impression the entire staff is this way, passionate about fitness and people being healthy rather than having these "hot" bodies and becoming obsessed with it.

Working with her early on, aside from taking her class will give me that accountability, that good early start and out of these 200's. She worked one on one with me on Monday and I could tell the difference. She does a lot of exercises for less time and I end up sweating like crazy. Seems really simple but my body surely feels it in the end. And don't know 100% what she does but she knows what she's doing, getting that foundation down will help.

So thinking because I haven't yet looked for a car, I'll put that on hold if need be and do the training first. Also considering seeing a nutritionist, I have to check my health bennies on that one.

Design Watch-Favors and things

I have not posted a design watch post in ages, reading a blog recently reminded me of this fact and something I'd recently done and decided to share it here.

This was some decor I'd done for my pastor and his wife's wedding anniversary surprise we (the church) threw for them. As I usually place on my profiles, I like to do anything crafty/artsy and one of the many things I enjoy doing is favors and thing things for events like this, weddings, showers etc.

And the blog post I'd read, spoke about that struggle of focusing on the craft while seeking to glorify God. It's really easy I believe for artsy types to make that their entire world if not careful. Certainly know the struggle and therefore we can find ourselves constantly placing things into perspective.

And a the scripture of focus she'd posted on was the Proverb 31 women which is one of my favorites to focus on when people want to make this out to be a vain thing. Gifts comes from God, Satan can and indeed does perverts them and our flesh can lust after them over Him. But they indeed come from Him and therefore it's Him we seek concerning them and what He'd have us to do with them. And this is one of the ways He's allowed me to utilize this gift as well as the other areas of focus (print design, web design, hopefully photography soon:)). I placed these frames with different scriptures on marriage on each table. Rather it's earthly marriage or our being the bride of Christ. After the event, the guests took home a frame and will have that to view for as long as they choose to have it I suppose:) Anyone that comes by will see the frame and it may spark them to ask questions. Saved or unsaved or give them something to mediate on when saved. So it can serve as another way of being a witness of Him.

I cannot wait to get my hands on someones wedding LOL. The things the Lord has taught me over the past few years concerning it, I'd love to tie it into someones decor if not my own:):)

Also on the table were the flowers behind the frame, a pic of my pastor and his wife two wedding rings linked and some mints that the kids kept scooping up before it even started:) Well the adults too can't just get on the kids:) And I absolutely loved doing it.

I had a dream

I had two of the best dreams on Sunday morning. I often wake up at say 1:00 or 3:00 in the morning and eventually fall back to sleep before time to get up. This time around I was on facebook where I read DJ Wade O's status which said he was grateful for all of the believers he's been able to meet due to the position God has him in....this is paraphrased. Then I read a post from a friend on there that was doing some Christianity bashing.

Then off to sleep I went. First dream was of DJ Wade O rebuking me for not walking in love. I told him about my dream on facebook to which he replied I'm going to take heed to this as well as we all need to grow in love and will not be perfected on this earth.....again paraphrased. But that would have been a dream I could roll with LOL. In this dream he said to me the love you think you're walking in is actually hate. OUCH! I forgot to mention I'd written my blog about love before this all went down. Nevertheless I'm using this as reason to do a heart check in this area. As I wrote in my previous post, we are often times not walking in it and I'm not exempt because I feel need to blog about it:)

The next dream was one of me in a restaurant, and the cooks began to speak about how Jesus isn't real and they just began to clown Christians and customers were laughing and chiming in. And so I began to witness to them. Asking them why is it that they don't believe He exists and does their not believing in Him make Him non existent? Would one want to take a chance with their eternity by their own judgement oppose to God Himself revealing who He is? Then I proceeded to give them the gospel and people began to repent. Believe that is tied to the friends facebook post.

I woke up like thank you Lord that Wade O dream wasn't real LOL, again it puts before me the opportunity to do a heart check but if ever you listen to his radio show, Wade O typically brings such a good balance concerning walking in love oppose to going straight for a hard core rebuke, that if I took that brotha there then I truly was walking in some stuff that is jacking up folks lives. And the second dream was nice, the unbelieving will bash Christ will mock and will think us to be the foolish ones. But if we indeed walk in love, we won't attack we will give them the gospel.

This Love Walk

We've been learning about love in Sunday School at church and it's truly been a blessing. I'm sitting here thinking right now on how I may miss that teaching today because I'll be with the youth class today. Then thinking wow feels good to feel some kind of way about missing it:) Especially being where talking about love. And by some kind of way not to say I don't want to be with the little ones but I will indeed miss the teaching in the adult class today. And grateful because I could be peeling my face off the pillow dreading going but God has given me joy for His word, even that which can be difficult to digest.

Difficult because it's hard to love someone that hates you and I often find that love is so lacking within the body that if the focus isn't on Christ and pleasing Him, one could easily find themselves becoming hard hearted in this area towards their own. We don't bare, hope,believe and endure all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). And although we're told to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39, one of many scriptures stating so) and that to walk in our giftings and not have love is equal to being nothing (also 1 Corinthians 13). We still seem to embrace our lack of it and believe or hope that God is well pleased.

I was recently at a church where the pastor stated those that are typically on point doctrinally often lack in the love department. And he wasn't outing another church by saying those people at those other churches lack love but was talking bout his own house. I know early in my walk (and still have to be mindful of it let's be real) I would smash people so bad, thinking I was not only doing God's will but walking in love. My thinking was my allegiance is with Christ soley so I'm going to walk as He walked. Also with the gifts God's given, I may see something concerning a person that others do not and I thought it my duty to call it out. And not talking for instance if someone is fornicating I know it, may be able to discern it but not some kind of vision concerning it. But in calling something like that out I'd miss the primary need. I'd ended a friendship with someone a few years ago and again thinking because of my allegiance I was on point in what I said how I did it. Soon as I did it, through email btw which is not good and my first hint that it wasn't a good idea to do so should have been I was too angry to pick up the phone and say it so thought that would be the better route! Anyway soon as I pressed send I heard a voice say you did not do that in love. I know many don't believe God still speaks today and I was right along with em because I was like man that ain't God Lord please make the enemy stop LOL.

Reflecting back I can see how I didn't do so in love and that the core need/issue in the individual wasn't addressed. God has graciously given a second change in this situation so I'm taking heed and walking it out in love. And in doing so, it's not so hard after all because first committing to walk it out, the Lord changed my heart concerning them so that I may walk in/have genuine love for them. And when I experience hate from others within the body or outside, I've learned to pray and the Lord is still working on me in that area in terms of doing so diligently. And I find myself walking in peace with them rather they return the love or not.

And lastly because I can tell this has turned into a book:) God is not without rhyme or reason for anything. One reason it was so hard for me to walk in love or know what that looks like is because for one it's difficult to grasp loving enemies, and two not every teaching on love is biblical and people tend to look for a romanticise love and therefore when you tell the truth, and truly doing so in love it's taken as hate because "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8) can become the drop scripture to never confront sin. So it became difficult to walk in it because love was misjudged to be hate. And again not talking the situation of thinking I'm walking in love when I wasn't but doing so and it being wrongly judged as hate or wrong judgement. And three didn't seen like many within the body were seeking to walk in it so it's like why bother? Now let me say with that even if we don't know God's rhyme or reason we still ought to walk in obedience however in this case I can say He's shown me (at least a portion) of His will concerning our walking this way.

1. He's done it for us, I think to myself sometimes the sins that irk me about others and even myself. Imagine how much more God has had mercy on us for. Things we may not even see as sinful and He redeemed us not having to and we have no reason as to why we should have been scooped up by Him. Nothing but evil continuously in this dead man yet a perfect God chose to scoop me up anyway and I am to reflect His love in the same way that He's poured it out on me.
2. He is love so if I claim to be His, how can I not reflect Him? Not to say we won't fail in this area ever but we should be growing in His likeness daily, dying daily to our old nature.
3. And I'll end it with this one though I can think of others, those that hate us ultimately hates Him and will have to give an account on judgement day.

And one more lastly peep Proverbs 25:21-22 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you.

And I've primarily spoke on lack of love within the body, we are all bro's and sis's in Christ like it or not:) And so we can be enemies of one another without intent and sometimes very much so and worse at times because of knowing God will not x them off the list so to speak. Yet the Lord will reward the love you shower them with. It will not go unnoticed and those individuals will indeed have to give an account. Not as the unredeemed but as disobedient children.

Not so bad after all

My last post I mentioned some eating struggles this week and yet I managed to lose 2.5 pounds anyway. Just came from a fitness assessment at my gym and at 6:00 I weighted less than I did this morning. Not sure if it's the difference of the scales or my body wasn't done but I'm thrilled. I'm contemplating working with the trainer a few weeks but I'm going to pray about it. Because we're talking extra money that may not be necessary to spend. Where a trainer is beneficial is she'll push me in ways I wouldn't myself. Yet she did (this particular trainer) her class last thursday I felt ever muscle in my body LOL so if that's good enough that's good enough. Yet it can be helpful when it comes to using the machines so I shall see.

I'd worked with a trainer that came to my church about two years ago now ans he set a right foundation so again I'll see only thing is we only worked with hand weights not the machines and I want to ensure I have right form. Plus she knows the things I need to do to get this stuff off. Don't want to rush it off yet want to be as efficient as possible. I told her my primary goal right now is to get back into the 100's. She wants me to sit and think of all of these goals but I'm like honestly I want to get past the 200's then get to 160 and see from there if I still need to lose anything. Not going to front I'd like to be able to wear pretty dresses and heels again comfortably but ultimately not seeking to lose for that reason so she may be a lil disappointed with my lil list.

I like the trainer though, doesn't seem focused on selling me a bunch of fluff that she thinks I want to hear but rather is focused on getting me to goal and what's going to help me to do so healthy so I like that. So praying to see if I should go that route, spending wisely is the main concern. Not terribly bad prise wise when I break it down yet again do I need to go that route?

I was sitting on the bus thinking hey I only did that one cheesesteak review on here LOL guess it's going to be a minute before I do another because until I'm out of the 200's, really trying to focus on not eating too far away from whole foods or the close enough stuff like today I ate falafel that was friend but surrounded by tons of veggies and on a whole wheat pita.

But I'm determined this is the last round for the weight loss journey, all this stuff is coming off!!

The weight loss front

This has been a rough week food wise but I think I understand why, well not so much week as the past couple of days. First started on Friday. I didn't bring lunch, decided to buy out but wasn't sure of what I wanted so walked over to the gallery here in Philly. Not sure why because it's not that close to my job considering the weather on Friday. Anyway I got there and didn't want a salad in case that's what I was to eat when I got back home. So didn't want a salad, decided to do a Chick fil A kids meal but thought to myself well may not want to do that in case you go out and have to eat out. Decided I wasn't going back out due to the cold and got it. Wasn't really bad calorie wise, bad sodium wise as my doctor warned me to eat less of it and I typically don't check sodium but now doing so I realize yeah I have to watch out for these foods not just calorie wise but other reasons as well.

And when I say not bad, I mean compared to what I'd already eaten that day. Anyway I did end up going to an event at my friend's church and had to leave maybe 15 minutes after I got home so didn't get to eat. I wasn't terribly hungry, even when we did stop to eat at 10 something at night and the choices were slim. Checkers, pizza hut or kfc. I couldn't think of any healthy choices at the time out of the three so went for Pizza Hut. Mind you my friend did ask where I'd like to stop but couldn't think of any place and when she went to Checkers after my pizza hut stop, realized they have a grilled chicken sandwich.

Anyway got my personal pan and ate half of it while in the car. Got home already wasn't that hungry but ate the rest anyway. I realized after my lunch and also something I feared, that I'd get certain cravings but wasn't sure why I was even thinking that way at the time. Yet my thinking was correct.


I read a blog today where the writer stated she's having trouble with rice and basically how it set off cravings and I asked why that is below is the response:

"It's the fast digesting carbs in refined foods like rice, white pasta, white breads, processed snacks. It causes an insulin spike and crash, which leads to cravings."

So that explains why I hadn't been that hungry eating my whole foods and why I'm so much more satisfied and not struggling to not think about food. I'd even grabbed some chocolate chip cookies earlier that day on Friday and didn't eat them, had no desire for them. So saying all of that to say I'm persuaded to stick to my whole food plan.

Today I ended up eating some salad I had left over from yesterday and two slices of pizza. I fought not to eat my usual 4 but now that I know what the issue is I'll be able to combat it better.

So not sure what things will look like weight loss wise but I'm happy to know simply making those better choices and not taking it for granted will do the job.

Tomorrow I go to the gym to get a fitness assessment. I wasn't going to go because when I scheduled I forgot I'd be off and I'm not near that area at all outside of the work week. But I didn't work out Friday because my body was still in pain from the boot camp I did on Thursday (and still is now!:)) so I don't want to go until Tuesday before I work out and will be limited at home.

So I'm excited man I think this is it this time, no more up and down on and off. Being mindful that it's an every day battle even if I feel full but get lazy in working out or whatever the case I have to turn this over to the Lord daily or else I'm one day away from falling short.

Pray Donna Pray!!

God is so gracious and kind and giving and understanding and the list could go on and on and on and on. He's been calling me to pray as of late. I'm telling u from the time I went to FFF two weeks ago (or three forgetting my weeks:)) up to this day He's been speaking to me about praying. Through sermons, His word, Devo's you name it He's been leading me to do so specifically encouraging me that He keeps His promises and that I am to pray and expect an answer.

And it's funny because my most repetitive prayer before this, has been increased faith in what I'm praying. Not so much that I'm going to get what I'm asking as I'm asking it for example I can pray until I'm blue in the face that the eagles win tomorrow but what is to say God will answer that with a yes compared to another believer rooting for the opposite team? So if I were to pray that way ( and I wouldn't just an example:)) I could only take a lost as Him saying no LOL or believe that I didn't pray according to His will.

So praying that I'd have faith in His doing His answering and not so much in the receiving. At some point in my faith I'd began to become filled with doubt and I think it may be linked to the fact that I was so full of faith concerning this area that I didn't mind telling everyone what the Lord did in my life, not everyone believes God to respond in the way that He does to our requests.

For example, Years ago I was maybe 5 years in the faith maybe less. And I was seeing what it truly meant to be a Christian yet I received it with gladness. Losing friends seeing the hearts of family members towards me all sorts of pain yet it only served as a visual of what was already penned in God's word so I remember just bouncing off of the walls. Didn't always feel good but seeing God's word living made me joyous. So one day I said to myself hmmm if I'm doing all of this giving up what am I getting out if it. Right after repented for thinking so selfishly. Well Daddy answered by directing me to Matthew 19:29 and when I thought that was just a coincidence Mark 10:29-30. And I don't recall how I connected that to my getting a house but I did. I took it as answered prayer to my wanting to move out of the house I grew up with. Well some years went by and I was still home. So I was sitting by my daughter's bed one morning after waking up just thinking to myself. And I said to myself well I guess I was just imagining that whole house thing and mistook the point of God showing me that specific scripture. Right after I had the thought, my daughter woke up out of her sleep and said to me Mom I had a dream that the Lord said He keeps His promises and you're going to have your own house.

My daughter was around 5 at the time and the only individual I may have mentioned this situation to was my mom, just to tell her how to stop telling me I was going to get the house when she was gone LOL. Long story short I did get my mother's house God kept His promise to me and it wasn't anything like I thought it would be. I have to pay for said house:) But it's nothing like what others are paying for. Would love to have my mom here a wee bit longer if it were between her and a house but grateful that in her passing He gave me my childhood home. And in showing me that, restored relationship with my mom that I would have ran from in seeking my own place. One of the last things my mom said to me is you are the only person that showed me what the bible is truly saying, myself and a friend of hers she later mentioned. That gets to stay with me the rest of this lifetime:)

And sharing that to say for one there is so much more meat to those scriptures not so much about the getting as it is about the gain in leaving the pleasures of this world and being His. You get family in the faith you get cribs to crash at LOL not necessarily a physical house to call your own, great gain. YET God used those two scriptures to show me He has me and is in control of all things. The wavering came in the fact that I hate the name it and claim it movement and this outcome was linked to that way of thinking so I'd began to question everything even though my response to the notion was well I'm living in the house, u trying to tell me that wasn't God's doing? And in that, stop praying for those sort of concerns believing them to be trivial or if I did pray, doing so with doubt attached.

But God said no pray and I will answer, If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11

I'm grateful for HIS word towards me at this period in my life and looking forward to those answers:):)

***Extended Edit***
This was the Daily Spurgeon for today, saw right after posting this:)

Praying on hallowed ground

Lot is called a righteous man; and he was vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked. He frowned at the men of Sodom, and expostulated with them, and wished that sinners would restrain their follies, and not go to quite such lengths in sin. That is the sort of man Lot was. Have I not many a Lot before me now? The father of the faithful went a great deal beyond this. He lived far away from the scenes of vice, and the haunts of impiety. I suppose he did not think it necessary to sleep a night in that cage of uncleanness, that he might familiarize himself with the profane customs of the people. But he stood on hallowed ground, and prayed with a tender heart. He interceded with God; he multiplied his intercessions. Every time he prayed, and with each fresh note of prayer, his spirit grew more ardent. Impressed with God’s severity, he takes courage from his goodness.

Here is a fitting example for us. It is an example which I know will not be lost on some of you. The courage that can rebuke man, must come from the strength that takes hold upon God. When your face shines like an angel with the radiance that the mercy-seat reflects upon it, then it shall come to pass that the scorner will not be able to resist the wisdom or the spirit by which you speak.

From a sermon entitled "The Smoke Of Their Torments ," delivered November 20, 1864. Image by Kyle Pearce under Creative Commons License.

Still loving it (althought today's workout was hard!)

I thought I was doing something with my lil workouts, until I went to a boot camp class LOL. I did okay though considering it was a boot camp class and it's been a minute since I did that type of aerobic work out. I still enjoyed it but will be hitting the treadmill tomorrow and going back to classes next week.

The teacher of the class will give me a fitness assessment next week, suppose to have been on Monday until I remembered I'd be off on Monday but I was glad to hear I'd get that. I hadn't even considered thinking they'd have some sort of extra charges for specific programs. But she'd called me and let me know about it, basically testing my strenghts/weaknesses in areas and my goals. I'm so looking forward to that because it'll help me in what to focus on. AND I'm seeing that accountability I needed showing it's face in my going to the gym God is faithful.

Not sure if I mentioned it in the blog although I'm sure I have:) I'm posting my weight loss on the side bar of the blog, the whole truth my current weight and as I'm losing the current weight. I've also lost additional weight not posted but can't find my last records of weight loss to say how much. I'd gained back 20 something which got me to the 249 and again in the area of renewing my mind in this area, that's what will prevent me from getting frustrated by the fact that I'd gotten to 225 but got sloppy and let go again. All I know is that unless the Lord says otherwise, I will get back that and well beyond.

I'm so grateful this is only the second week but I can tell I'm moving towards lasting changes. Also making conscious decisions not to do my everything in moderation way of eating that I'd normally do, sticking to.... well shorter to say staying away from fries, burgers, cheesesteaks, etc for a while. I can typically enjoy these things in moderation and still lose but I find that I can eat something like this and want more more more. Where as I eat a salad and an apple for lunch, I'm good maybe I'll want a snack before I eat dinner but nothing that would have me go off on the deep end like jumping from cheeseburger to wanting chocolate to wanting ice cream etc etc etc.

So I'm encouraged looking forward to getting to a healthy weight.

Gotta have faith

I love this translation of Hebrews 11:1 in the ESV, I'm sitting here reading my ESV study bible online and decided to look up their translation for this passage and it says:

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

It gets no plainer than that! Meaning you're certain that the thing you're hoping from although not seen, exists or will come to pass. IE as believers we know Jesus Christ is the promised Messiah and that His word is true and every promise spoken in the bible will come to pass.

I had a coworker say to me once, I believe it was in relation to her being let go from the job, was a temp there for some years. She said to me I may not have faith like you but I have some faith and I believe I'll come out of this. My reply to her was you either have faith or you don't. And let me add to that I'd witnessed to her several times prior to this which is what led her to speak on my faith.

She wasn't speaking on having a measure of faith outlined in Romans 12:3, it was a sometimes I believe in Jesus although I haven't gotten to where you are concerning Him. Concerning a need for salvation that's not a bad thing to admit. Concerning being able to call on Him as Lord over my life, not so much.

We have to have a confident faith in Him, confidence doesn't mean believing real hard that He is Lord but knowing He is. OR not because I believe it it's true but it's true rather I believe it or not. I know there are some elements in God's word that I may not be a fan of LOL but that doesn't give me permission to claim as false or to not adhere to what's being said because I feel it should be this way instead. I obey because I know who's saying it and that He's saying it to me, not even simply on the basis of it being true. It's true that my job has great benefits but folks not employed there can't claim them simply because they believe me when I tell them about them. Or I could even believe my job has great bennies and not take advantage of them all the days of my being there. So it's not just having a mind understanding of what is true it's being in a position to walk in it and then doing so as well.

That's a blessing man, to know that we aren't a people who "blindly follow a book" as I've heard some unbelievers say in the past. But we have assurance that the One who died for us is real and still living! And we will indeed see Him when the Father says it's time.

Grateful to my Lord the faith He has given me.

Quoting a Quote-No Mundane Tasks

This is a post from Passionate Homemaking who's owner is quoting from Nancy Leigh Demoss 's 31 day Challenge on Reviving Our Hearts.com Both of these sites are jewels to check out regularly btw.

And this quote really struck me to where I cleaned the kitchen, rather than leaving it for the morning, knowing that time never truly comes, at any rate check out the edifying quote below:

“Remember as you’re cleaning—as you’re iron­ing, as you’re sewing, as you’re pick­ing up, as you’re paint­ing, as you’re beau­ti­fy­ing your home, as you’re doing things to make your home attrac­tive, remem­ber that you’re paint­ing a pic­ture for your children—a pic­ture of God.

You’re demon­strat­ing to your chil­dren in ways that pen­e­trate deep into their hearts, the heart of God, the ways of God, and you’re increas­ing the like­li­hood that your chil­dren will grow up to love that God and to want to be like Him.

You’re demon­strat­ing para­bles of spir­i­tual life to your chil­dren as you work with your hands, as you serve in your home. When you pre­pare food for your family, you’re demon­strat­ing to them that God is a faith­ful provider.

When you’re being qual­ity con­scious in the things that you pur­chase, you’re show­ing your chil­dren the excel­lence of the char­ac­ter of God.

As you are orderly, you are teach­ing your chil­dren that God is a God of order.

When you clean things up in your home, when you keep a clean home, you’re show­ing your chil­dren the impor­tance of purity, holi­ness of heart, of being clean and washed before God.

When you’re dis­ci­plined in your life and habits and sched­ule and the time you get up and the time you go to bed accord­ing to the way that God has directed your family, you’re teach­ing your chil­dren that the Chris­t­ian life requires dis­ci­pline. You are teach­ing them that you can’t just stay in bed and become spir­i­tual. It requires effort and coop­er­a­tion with God’s Spirit to develop godly habits, pat­terns, and sanc­ti­fi­ca­tion in our lives.

When you reach out your hands…to the poor and the needy and you’re min­is­ter­ing to the needs of others, you’re show­ing your chil­dren the heart of God for those who are poor and needy and oppressed.

There is indeed no mun­dane task! Every task assigned to you is spir­i­tual and paints a pic­ture of God!”

From No Mun­dane Tasks by Nancy Leigh Demoss as part of the 31 day Makeover Challenge.

Shai Linne Storiez

Admittedly I do not have this CD yet. However it has quickly become one of my favorites that's been put out in Christian Hip Hop. And although not owned yet I've had plenty of listens to come to such a conclusion.

The quality of the production, the narration I've wanted to hear a CD like this for some time now where either each song had some sort of connect as in it's almost telling one big story in different songs, say someone speaking on their marriage from how dating began to falling in love, marrying, having kids, to struggles etc. Or like Storiez which tells multiple Storiez tied together via the narrator and Christ being the common link in each song.

Couple favorites for me is "Simple Love Story Feat. Keran Sabir" about a couple that comes together as unbelievers live together and the while nine, Jim & Kim but by God's grace get saved and then marries. I like it because it shows God's process from sinner to saint and in this situation, how a sinful relationship changed into one that glorifies God.

A second Favorite is "Martyrs Feat. Json, Evangel, God's Servant and Techniq" each emcee displays the life of a believer and details of how they were Martyred. I pray that we believers in the US would do more to understand what is going in for others in the faith in other parts of the world and not only have head knowledge but do something. Rather it's praying or hosting a family that comes here or whatever the case, in a case that I know of, a believer was basically kicked of Pakistan due to his faith. Recently went back to visit his very ill mother takes a huge risk on his life as he will not deny Christ hence why he was made to leave. Some stories are so much worse even but to live is Christ and to die is gain. This song shows what we ultimately align ourselves with when we receive Jesus as our savior. And while we may not face some of the persecution that our brothers and sisters in the faith do in other parts of the world our hearts and responses so be equal if ever faced with it and wouldn't be surprised to hear of stories that are occurring right here in the US.

Spurgeon just a blessing to learn so much about the prince of preachers in this one song. God often lays it on my heart to pray for our youth. That they would serve Him if indeed they are His as if they are indeed His. And not wait for an appropriate age to live for Him so to speak. Spurgeon is an example of many in the faith whom God drew unto Himself at an early age who was off and running from the start.

And there are others, just a dope Cd that is edifying, thought provoking, convicting and a few other things I'm sure that isn't coming to mind to mention:)

Definitely one to cop and also may I mention Shai is a Philly resident....only say due to the Faith(215) focus of this blog:)

Working it out

I am loving my gym and I'm grateful!! More than food, working out is my biggest enemy. And I think I'd mentioned in a previous post how I'd rather take in less calories to lose the weight than to have more and work out. But I'd decided some time ago to make myself work out rather I liked it or not. It's not only good for loosing weight but for my body as a whole and therefore I'm grateful to be able to say I now enjoy it, to a degree at least:)

And my gym isn't far from my job so it makes it easy for me to get there and I like it because it's not really crowded all age groups no one flexing their bodies etc. I can get in and get on the machine I want without having to wait long or find myself limited to certain times due to overcrowding and the need to schedule machine usage. Just all kinds of good benefits and my prayer is that I'll continue to enjoy going and do it any way when I don't feel like it.

Also I'm being bold and posting my current weight on the sidebar as well as each weeks losses and hopefully no gains but those too if that happens. Again trying not to remind myself of the gain, over 20 pounds to be exact and press forward. History says that I'll drop fast so it'll be going beyond that loss, can't wait to see the 100's again. Wow can't recall the last time I was in the 100's I was 203 when I had my daughter so that was the closest I'd been in a long time. And while it's not about a # so much as being healthier I'm factoring the fact that getting there shows I'm closer to a healthy weight and the accomplishment of getting past the struggle that keeps me going up and down.

So I'm excited and will patiently work pray, die to this flesh etc etc etc.......until all of this stuff is gone!!

So far so good!!

Almost a week has gone by and I have not complained on the job (that I can think of Lord please bring to mind if I have!!) First of all it was difficult going in on Monday. I don't care if a person loves their job to pieces, it's hard to get back into that flow. But I had to prepare mentally to get in their without moping, murmuring, complaining, or letting others do so or have it agitate me if they were to but use it as an opportunity to shine His light.

I went into work and my coworker I spoke about in an older post (wanted to leave, felt like it's not a good environment for a Christian etc.) decided to change up some things as well to get in and get the job done. I mentioned I'm not going to complain, he responds I'll complain but....forget the end to that now:) I told him how it'll require prayer and that complaining only gives a false vision of the situation and causes you to become embittered towards the individual/situation you're complaining about. He responded so true right before going on to complain LOL, I'm not backing down however. Something I've said since I've started my job, I'd probably never love it to death because it's not something that I aspired to do. However I can clearly see God's purposes for me to be there and I'm grateful. I could have a job I really hate and it serve no other purpose than to get food on the table. Whereas there is joy that comes from being there and freedoms that I've never experienced elsewhere. Including putting on sermons all day and blocking out the noise:) So in many ways I have benefits that others do not (and not just speaking listening to podcasts:)) And my lack of zeal for the place isn't just the evil men do, it's not the career I'd seek after. Remembering those things, yet being grateful anyway, block out complainers and vultures that want to step on/over you to succeed what else is there to complain about. Well there is plenty LOL yet again with the choosing not to knowing that God at any time can change a situation and anything I go through is for my good.

Grateful for getting stronger in this area it's been a loooong time coming, please continue to keep me in prayer!!

Renewing this mind of mines

The difficult thing about getting back on track with weight loss is that I'm immediately reminded of the fact that I could have been so much closer to the finish line than I currently am, and that I now have to work off the gain.

However I've already determined the biggest battle will be mental. Already know what to do as far as what to eat is concerned, as well as physical. But if I can kill thoughts, stop them in their tracks I'll be good. Anything from the above mentioned or even as I said to a coworker the other day, sometimes my issue is just laziness I don't feel like thinking about food all of the time, what I'll eat how many calories it has I just want to pick it up and eat it!

Usually when those thoughts come in, the do the work of steering me in the direction I feel I should be going hey don't want to be disappointed don't worry about any loss and you won't have to be. Don't feel like counting calories eat what you want. you weren't created to be thin anyway etc etc etc. So the battle is on with this her mind of mines so that I can keep it moving even when I don't feel like it and making correct choices even when I don't want to. Now I do all things in moderation not seeking to change that however won't be eating three cheese mac & cheese because I don't feel like focusing on what I'm eating. I'm personally tired of the run around it's time for this stuff to go!

On that note heading to the gym:)

Can't sleep therefore I blog

It's 12:43 in the morning and I can't sleep!!! Part of the problem is the fact that I fell asleep really early last night. Possibly in the 8:00 hour even I'm not 100% sure. Which was due to my not feeling well, which was prompted by my not eating enough for breakfast. When I don't eat or don't eat enough (except when fasting glory to God!!) by a certain hour in the day, I get the worse headaches one could have and typically they do not go away for a day. You'd think with knowing this, rather than saying to myself at 11:00 am oh I'm still hungry better go grab something else to eat...oh but wait it's almost lunch time I can ride it out, I'd listen to what my body needs and eat.

I think I may have learned my lesson this time because that was not fun oh my goodness. Yesterday was the 1st day back to work and we're looking at a boatload of it so I didn't want to ask to leave early yet I needed to because along with the headache comes nausea. When I went to the vending machine to grab something in hopes of it helping, it wouldn't take change so went to the cafe at my job, for some odd reason they were closed early and the other vending machine there was on empty. So I suffered until I got home which only made me eat more when I was able to.

It's weird having your body go through changes I think in my head I'm going to do what I've always done, but at 35 my body does not do what it always has and therefore I have to respond to it rather than it responding to me. It's been my prayer to become a healthy eater because I want to not because I have to well reality is, even if there isn't any illness dictating to me to take certain foods away, I think I've pretty much graduated to have to status and not just for weight loss. And yesterday the food I chose was good for me actually, had a strawberry banana smoothie, strawberry banana yogurt LOL just realized that, and a banana just realized that too what variety:) But didn't get to finish all of my smoothie and the yogurt and banana wasn't enough to hold me yet I didn't leave to go to lunch until 12:30. Today will get me in some nice hearty oatmeal and have that yogurt and banana again. Oh and I had my dunkin donuts decaf too byt my body was like girl stop playing and feed me LOL. Having to realize also because I'm getting back on board weight loss wise, I have to eat more than I will say in a month as my body get accustomed to these changes again. I pray that this is my last journey down this road because it's quite tiring and not good on the body either going up and down back and forth.

At any rate I decided concerning this blog that I won't have the regular features I'd planned out previously. I just realize I don't have the time like I use to to stay on those types of updates oppose to writing when I can like now. I'll still talk about the things I'd planned however will be more sporadic rather than weekly focus on a certain topic may make an exception with weight loss but I'll see, if for no other reason to have that documented weekly.

With that said, I'm going to try to get back to sleep now sigh I did one of this while on vacay yet this is the second night since going back to work that I've been bright eyed with no sign of relief and usually I don't get sleepy again until an hour or so before time to wake up but what's going down tonight (or this mornin:)) is I'm going to pray that the Lord will shut these eyes of mines, not permanently of course:) And that I wake up refreshed able to make my breakfast and get the kid off to school without dragging fussing and not having the time to eat properly.

til next time.

First Friday Fundamentals/Last day of Vacay

Welp, it's my last day of vacay before I go back to work. I've been a praying fool that I go back there with a right mindset. Not just because it's difficult to be around people that do not have any regard for the Lord, but it can bring to the forefront my own sins. Wanting to get at people with my mouth rather than walking in love. Not an easy task yet it is a situation that brings the need to grow in that are to the forefront.

And speaking of prayer, I attended FFF (First Friday Fundamentals) at Epiphany Fellowship here in Philly and was so so blessed. And if not familiar Ambassador from the group Cross Movement co-pastors this church along with Pastor Mase. And I bring up Ambassador not to name drop but to say these dudes get so much flack for being or being perceived as a certain type of Christian but when you hear him speak teach the word etc. His passion for the Lord is apparent. For instance as not to keep minds wondering what I mean, the desire to see people walk upright before the Lord and stand firm on sound doctrine is mistaken for wrong judgement oppose to it being the very word of God in a living example via one of His son's walking this earth.

One of the things Ambassador focused on is the access we have with the Father due to relationship had with Him. And how one of his first examples was seeing his own father and how he'd walk down the street praying to God and recognizing he wasn't just spitting out words but he spoke to Him as one who knows that He is real and He hears him. And that as a youth it made him desire the God of his pop. Then he had us each pray at the end of his teaching, representing the different ways in which we can approach the father. Rather standing, sitting with hands raised standing with hands raised laying prostrate or kneeling. And how we are to go to the Father as His children, not as "the big guy up there" yet we are also to reverence Him.

There are tons of details concerning that night but it truly left me with a renewed or perhaps a refreshed prayer life. From everything Shai Linne the faithful host often teacher often ministering in music, everything he stated to Ambassador to the rhymes God's Servant did, just a blessing I for one am grateful for their ministry/ministries and pray the Lord will continue to increase them even when persecuted hated on or misunderstood by the masses.

And so it begins.....

I'm just realizing that I'm beginning my eat healthy journey at the beginning of the year. Although I'd written about it being my focus yesterday, still truly didn't plan it out to be this time of the year for the sake of the date so much as getting past the holidays. I was hoping to do the challenge on the Holy Culture Radio forums but for some reason thought it began today. Not sure why being the post spoke specifically on it being the 1st LOL. Still may participate being I wasn't in it for the win of the ipod (prize to the one that takes off the most weight by July I believe) as I need the accountability. Will see, forgot to weight myself this morning before leaving out (also my reason for not logging weight on the forum yesterday) so will do so tomorrow.

The reason why I like to do morning is our weight is different in the morning than it is at night, most important thing is to be consistent in weight ins than the time of day. However since I'm use to weighting in the morning and I already know I've gained some weight back, not trying to go there LOL.

Oh and the pic is all the goodies I picked up at Reading Terminal here in Philly. I love this place, specifically one of the fruit stands called Iovine Brothers Produce. It's inexpensive and lots of choose from. Today was more costly than normal as the prices tend to go up and down, but even with that fact I paid $15 for tons of fruits and vegetables. It bugs me to no end when I fall off because I truly have no excuse too much goodness it at my hands. Today I'm off so took the hike but otherwise this spot is fairly close to my job so I can stay with the foods I need.

My prayer is that the Lord will give me the strength needed to become disciplined in this area. As I was just saying to Him, when I fall off I'm not concerned about how much lettuce I'm missing out on or strawberries so I pray not to be consumed with the last time I had a good piece of Fried Chicken but to be satisfied with these beautiful delicious foods He has provided while still enjoying my other favorites in moderation. My health is in danger if I don't get it together so it's gotta be by His power or bust.

Keep me lifted good people! Oh and will get it in at the gym next week when I'm back to work, now feel like I should have joined one closer to home yet I'm sure I won't feel that way when I'm back at work next week.

Doing fine in 2009 LOL:)

Happy New Year to everyone!! For the 1st time in years I fell asleep and didn't see the new year come in or catch watch night service. However grateful to be awaken to take it in now:) Decided to write a bit on where I plan on focusing this year.

I don't usually do the whole resolution thing but decided to take advantage of the newness and write out some things I want to focus on this year.

Here is my list in no particular order:

1. Get more organized, started off well last year, want to continue doing so this year.
2. Better time management- kinda coincides with getting organized but I use to be really good with both but now I actually have to make conscious effort in some areas not to be late, not to "overbook" myself so to speak:) Rather it's serving in ministry, taking on a design project, or classes plus more I'm sure.
3. Realize that my memory isn't the same as it use to be LOL and invest in a nice pocket sized planner:) Or put more on my phone calendar.
4. Get to the gym consistently and not overdo it, Rome wasn't build in a day:)
5. Get the rest of this weight off and try to not gain any back!! It gets harder and harder the more breaks I take. Easy to get lazy when it's just me looking at it but looking at pics, just will not do. Not trying to be skinty:) But get to a healthy weight.
6. Consistent in bible study- I never set a set time to pray set time to study because I didn't want to do anything that would just become routine yet for one thing who said God is anti order LOL. And by not having a set study/prayer time, I can easily fall off or find myself relying solely on what I've read while on the train to and from work.
7. Do more talking with the kid. We are very close (praise God) but as she gets older there are certain conversations that are necessities for me. Don't want to find myself staring at an 18 year old who no longer think it necessary to listen to her mom. So one of our first convo's will be about her still being my child when she turns 18 LOL.
9. Pray for others more- doing so now but again it's sporadic want to compile a list of folks to pray for on a regular until that prayer is answered.
10. Love those who hate me - God is certainly working on me in this area and if I peep back into history I'm getting better but see that need to still grow. And especially on the job.

I'll stop with those 10, keep me in your prayers as I move forward with these things!!